The Charming Young Widow
I was born in New Jersey. One morning last summer
I received a dispatch that my uncle was dead.
And it also requested I should come to the city
For a large sum of money was left me they said.
Of course I determined to go on the journey
The very next train of cars I did take.
For had I stayed over I ne’er should encountered
That charming young widow I met on the train
The widow and I side by side sat together
The seat it contained but us two and no more.
Till silence was broken by my fair companion
Who inquired the time by the watch that I wore.
I soon satisfied her and then conversation
Was opened and freely discussed by us both.
Till my brain fairly swirled I became so enchanted
With this charming young widow I met on the train
Some minutes elapsed. We arrived at the station
Within a few miles of that great busy town.
When my fair one remarked as she looked from the window
Good Gracious alive sir. There goes Mr. Brown
He’s my late husband’s brother. Oh will you sir kindly
Consent for one moment my child to maintain.
Of course I consented and off from the platform
Tripped this charming young widow I met on the train.
Three minutes elapsed and the signal bell sounded
The cars began moving. No widow appeared.
I cried out “Stop. Stop.” But they paid no attention
With a snort and a jerk started off as I feared.
In this dilemma I sought for the hour
And my watch, oh where was it. Where where was my chain.
My purse and gold pencil and ticket was gone sir
And so was the widow I met on the train.
While thus deeply lamenting the loss of my money
The conductor came round . ‘Your ticket please sir.’
I told him my story while prancing the infant
The loss I sustained but he doubted my word.
He called more officials they gathered around me
Uncovered the infant, how shall I explain
Twas not a real baby but only a “rag one”
This swindling young widow I met on the train!
Satisfied I’d been robbed I took my departure
Although I agreed to settle next day
And now I’d advise all young men from the country
Not to get caught in a similar way
Look out for all widows who ride on the railway
Who dress in deep mourning, whose tears fall like rain
And look out for your money, for fear they resemble
This charming young widow I met on the train.